Hi there. I hope you enjoyed your weekend and your week has started off on a good note. Let me start off with a little bit of raw honesty about myself to kick start this week’s post. (I am nervous about admitting this on this platform but…) I am a pessimist. Always have been throughout my life (there I said it). I never really put much thought into it throughout the years but in the recent past, especially after Neil and I started dating, I got to thinking about it and analyzing it a lot! He is an everlasting optimist and this got me wondering why I don’t see the world much like he does. At my last place of work, part of the reason I had to leave actually (since I am being honest), was that I would absorb a random person’s negative vibe and energy so fast and even if my day was going relatively well everything would crash and burn. I never attuned both situations until after I left and started analyzing why I felt so bad and negative about every little thing, including myself, while I was there and despite leaving I had still carried those demons with me.
I left a couple of years ago but to this day, I still struggle with pessimism and it can sometimes literally consume me and make me feel like I am drowning in nothing but negativity and it leads me to intense anxiety. It does affect Neil when I have these pits that he cannot pull me out of (partly because I am also a very stubborn person, sorry babe ;-* ) but realizing that it makes him feel helpless and realizing that it is such a vicious cycle for me made me start trying out some things to help ease myself out of it when it happens. Growing up it wasn’t as intense as it has been in the recent past, I suppose because there was always something I was doing in my life, like school, so it was easier to push the negative vibe and thoughts away. Once I started staying home however, there was nothing to occupy majority of my time and help push the negativity away.
I started poking about here and there online to see if what I was going through was normal and I found out that there are some studies that suggest that optimism and pessimism have some of their roots in a person’s genetic makeup. Like on this article here. Well, that was certainly a relief to find out especially because for something like that, there is no need for medication, just some behavioral tweaks that can make a big difference.
One of the ways that I implemented that helped reduce my exposure to negativity was to stop watching negativity on TV. Trust me when I say that there is a lot of that on there. What we watch nowadays strictly serves the purpose of entertainment. Having a brain that is more attune to pessimism can turn even a positive situation into a negative experience. With this in mind, I remind myself of one of Maya Angelou’s quotes…
“If you don’t like something change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
At this moment, I am not able to stop the pessimistic vibe but when I feel it coming on I try and make a conscious effort to focus on the positive rather than give into the negative pull. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t to be honest.
This blog is another way that helps me with this problem. Putting a post together keeps my mind occupied even if it is for a little while and I can disappear into this world that is positive. It hasn’t always been positive though, a few times the negativity has seeped onto here but I have been able to put it out. This platform enables me to celebrate and share something I love about myself and that’s my style when it comes to clothes. Putting an outfit together, I find, is engaging. I also get to see the end result immediately. Immediate gratification anyone? Lol. An outfit can certainly affect a person’s mood. When you look good, you feel good and vice versa which is an awesome thing.
Well, this week’s outfit certainly put me in a good mood and gave me a positive vibe because of the way it made me feel. I have featured these staggered jeans here before. I love them but that light blue color still makes me nervous every time I think about accidentally staining them. I put them with a black body suit that I have had for such a long time but never put on. I love the fit. It will be on repeat. I also put on a light, short sleeve sweater that is perfect for warm weather and stylish too and my black pumps. For the accessories I used my mirror sunglasses that somehow always make me feel sassy whenever I put them on, a beaded statement ring, beaded hoop earrings and a beaded bracelet handmade by yours truly and I used the case for my sun glasses as a clutch. My red and silver nails and burgundy lip rounded off the look.
This outfit and posting process has certainly helped keep the negativity at bay. The last two things that I would say have worked for me more than they haven’t especially in recent times are making a conscious effort to love myself which in turn helps me view myself in a positive light and to take it one day at a time and when things are really bad, one moment at a time.
These are things that I have found work for me after a lot of trial and error. I am still not perfect at it but I will keep working on it. If you go through similar emotions and predicaments, there are some tips in the article linked above that you can try out and see if they work. It can be overwhelming to go through this, especially the intense anxiety that comes with it, so talking to someone who understands can also help you out a lot with coping with it and figuring out a way for you to move on with your life.
Photography by Neil Mitra.
Who knew that all this can be inspired by an outfit? 🙂 Enjoy the rest of your week and thank you so much for reading my style story.